


New Dawn

by bipalium



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Identity Issues, M/M, Post-TPP, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reflection, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 01:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10754064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bipalium/pseuds/bipalium
Summary: “Kaz,” Venom murmured and leaned closer. “Don’t let the past destroy you. Stop blaming yourself for things left undone, things you can’t change. What’s done is done.”





	New Dawn

Languid rays were shallowly piercing the cabin through the dirty window, cutting through the dancing dust in the stale air. The chillness hadn’t yet started to seep in, but the foretaste was there. It nibbled at Venom’s good arm and he rubbed it with metallic fingers – no warmth came, expectedly. He still sometimes forgot that novelty.

The angle of the gold shifted with Pequod carefully tilting them onto the landing zone on the Medical Platform: sheer light of the falling sun brushed against Venom’s eye, making him squint. On the East, the gold and blue were gently mingling with shy purple, and the rays slid off his face as the helicopter touched the ground. DD leaned his head against Venom’s thigh and made a small, tired whine.

The common fuss with which rescue missions tended to end commenced immediately as the medics ran up to them and began to pull the injured soldier out of the cabin. She’d been quiet during their undisturbed ride despite her heavy wounds that had prevented a possibility of fultoning her directly from the hot zone, but as the medics put her on a litter, her pained groans renewed. There was nothing life-threatening, though. At least nothing the medical staff couldn’t deal with.

Deprived of silent company, Venom leaned to the seat and turned back at the window. The illumination was frontal, casting a shallow reflection of his face caked with mud, blood and dust on the glass. He caught a glimpse of thin perturbation emanating from his uncovered eye, and this groundless, uncanny expression drew his look away. It was akin to having a stranger staring into your soul.

“Good job today, Boss!” said Pequod with an enthusiastic grin. A firm pat landed on Venom’s shoulder and he smiled back at his pilot. Cheerful as ever, Pequod was about to jump out the cabin when Venom gingerly asked:

“Have some business on the Medical Platform?”

“Oh, yes, Boss. Ought to visit a friend in the quarters. The Medical Team has reported that he’s come to his senses earlier today.”

“Good,” Venom nodded. “I’ll drive to the Command Platform on my own then.”

Pequod’s eyes narrowed. He was a smart guy, and sometimes could sense a change in Venom almost as precisely as _she_ would’ve.

“Will you commence the next mission tonight, Boss?” he asked with a barely-audible note of concern.

“Yeah. Just need to shower before taking off. Take your time, though.”

Pequod cracked a wide smile of gratitude and saluted him before briskly departing. Venom chuckled and pet DD’s head in attempt to express his brief relief. The dog happily wiggled his tail and got up on four, ready to play.

“Good dog,” murmured Venom with content, and DD answered with a series of joyful barks. He got silent and sat, waiting patiently to get more attention as Venom picked up a cloth and rubbed the filthy window.

Now when the glass wasn’t that stained, the distant horizon was a clear and calm line between two mirrors, one of water and one of air. No matter from where on Mother Base you looked, you saw this very horizon with its inconsistent moods. Whether the wind or rain touched this subtle line, it was still in its place: jagged, whirled or straight – it was there, like a border between a dream and reality, between the truth and a lie, it connected two oppositions with responsible robustness. It had a job of holding the world together, supporting the struts of existence, without which everything would crash and fall into the abyss of chaos.

Venom startled a bit as DD hopped and plunged out of the cabin, barking. Must’ve been Ocelot; the two seemed not to be on the same wavelength, and yet oddly fond of each other, although Ocelot refused to accept that. Fighting like cat and dog, huh?

The sunrays pierced through the newly washed window with glorious radiance, creating a sparkling path to the door that extended to the ground. Outside, the barking faded a little too fast, replaced with soft whining and someone’s distant voice the wind caught and carried away from Venom’s hearing range. Curious, he shifted on his seat and gazed to the platform.

There wasn’t anything but the white walls in his field of vision, but he could hear approaching thuds: _clink, clink, clink_. His mouth stretched in a tender smile when he saw the source of the sound stopping in front of the door: with outspread shoulders, Kaz peered into the helicopter through the dark lenses of his ever-present aviators. His posture relaxed as he met Venom’s eye, but face remained solemn.

“Taking a break?” he asked, working his crutch towards the door. Venom watched as Kaz braced to take a step inside – it was some forty centimeters above the ground – and drew forward to offer him a hand. With a grunt, Kaz grasped his arm and pushed himself up, balancing on his good leg. Noticing that he was struggling more than usual, Venom threaded his arms below Kaz's armpits and pulled him inside.

Kaz nodded thankfully, grabbing onto his crutch and panting. He took a seat on Venom’s left and leaned his head against the metal wall. His milky eyes scanned the interior, lingering on Venom’s face.

“You look tired,” Kaz commented. “And dirty.” He sniffed and winced in disgust. “Have been hiding in dumpsters again, huh?”

“My objective was to stay undetected while possible,” retorted Venom passively. “I meant to go, though.”

He raised his head and peered at Kaz’s abstruse face. It was hard to tell where he’d been looking at, but as the sun’s angle alternated and bathed him in light, Venom saw that his eyelids were heavily lowered.

“What about you?” Venom asked quietly. “Did you come all the way here only to take a nap?”

Strangely enough, Venom didn’t intend to sound mocking, and yet when his voice spoke – automatically, as if not taking origin in his own lungs, throat and mouth – he did. He sighed to prepare an apology for his crude tone, but Kaz shook his head. His messy outgrown hair glimmered in the low sunshine, stubble framing his worn face like rust. 

Captivated, Venom watched as Kaz slowly removed his aviators and tucked them into a pocket of his trench coat. Then he straightened and, tentatively, stood up on his good leg, his crutch remaining by the seat. Venom reflexively outstretched his hand to help Kaz move, but Kaz didn’t take it. His faded eyes squinted at something beside Venom, and he gripped onto the upper hand-rail, leaning forward.

Kaz seemed to be well-secured, and yet Venom couldn’t help the tension in his arms – in reality, only one arm – to hold him if necessary. With those narrow eyes, Kaz studied the photos pinned next to the exit, ignoring the merciless light that beamed right on his face and made the diamond in the emblem of his beret scintillate. Venom made room for him to sit and inspect the photos from a more comfortable spot, but Kaz didn’t.

His bad shoulder budged under his coat in a false attempt to move his non-existent arm, and Kaz cursed under his breath. Wearily, he propped himself against the wall where the photos hung and released the rail.

“You removed her,” Kaz stated without that harsh hostility that sizzled in his voice whenever he'd spoken about Quiet. “And Huey, too.”

Venom chose not to interrupt and silently watched Kaz’s gaze wander from one picture to another. Now when the sun had slid from his face, his wrinkles smoothened. A shadow of a smile pulled on his thin lips when his eyes lingered on the picture of himself and Venom standing close, Kaz’s arm on Venom’s shoulder. Venom wished they could have had a better picture together, not that candid shot, but Kaz had insisted that it was good enough.

There was an instant change of Kaz’s posture when his eyes shifted lower: his shoulders slouched as if of pain, his only hand balling into a fist so tight his knuckles turned white. Venom didn’t need to check to know what was driving Kaz nuts.

“C’mon, Kaz,” he muttered, laying his good hand over Kaz’s fist. It relaxed in his touch, and Kaz let out a sigh.

“Right,” Kaz looked at him, though his worsened eyes seemed to peer through his head. “Let's hurry, you need to take a shower before another mission.”

Venom stood up before him, unmoving. There was a fragile strain about to snap in Kaz’s look, his voice, his absent-mindedness. He hurried to sneak his aviators and put them back in place: it must’ve hurt a great deal on such a bright day.

“Have you been sleeping well, Kaz?” he asked quietly, leveling with Kaz’s face so not to lose a possible hint of evasiveness.

“Better than a couple months ago, for sure,” Kaz answered earnestly. But that wasn’t a ‘yes’ still.

Venom stepped forward, thus trapping Kaz between his own chest and the wall. Without his crutch Kaz couldn’t escape anyway, but Venom longed honesty.    

“I... Sometimes I start thinking what if you don’t return,” spoke Kaz. At first, his eyes were fixed on Venom’s, but by the final words his gaze slid down. “You’re your own man, Snake. You aren’t tied to this place. Not after what he’s done to you.”

Ever so softly, Venom rested his palms on the sides of Kaz’s head. His eyelid lowered and he let their foreheads touch, gazing serenely in Kaz’s eye full of sorrow, bitterness and deeply buried dread. He caressed Kaz’s cheekbone with his flesh fingers instead of spurting unnecessary words.    

In the fading, reddening light Kaz’s rough features softened, his frown disappeared, lips parted with a steadying breath. His fist froze in front of Venom’s chest and unfolded as Kaz laid his palm flat against Venom’s heart.

“How about we postpone the mission till tomorrow and make a detour?” Venom mused, leaning back a little and placing his hands on Kaz’s shoulders.

“We don’t have time for slacking off, you know it,” Kaz protested grimly, although his hand contradictorily remained resting on Venom.

“It’s just resources extraction, nothing urgent. Besides, you’ll sleep tight after a breath of fresh air.”

Kaz’s brow arched in confusion and interest. His mouth opened to speak when a loud bark drove their attention: DD hopped in and curled on top of Kaz’s foot.

“See, he wants to go, too,” assured Venom and gave Kaz’s shoulders a firm squeeze. The tension in his muscles greatly diminished.

“Alright,” Kaz sighed. “Let’s drop by the Base Development Platform then.” His eyes shifted to the side. “I’ve been meaning to show you something... special.”

Fairly intrigued, Venom patted his back and stooped to snatch his crutch. DD remained lying in the chopper as Venom jumped out and raised his arms to help Kaz descend. He hesitated for a moment before stepping forward, caught by the middle with Venom’s bionic arm. Kaz’s teeth ground as he steadied himself upright.

“Boss,” a stentorious shout drove Venom's attention and he turned at the intruder. Ocelot stood behind them, idly twisting a revolver about his index finger. DD peeped his nose out of the cabin and made a lazy bark, lying back.

“What is it?” Venom asked. Kaz limped towards a jeep with a hurried _clink, clink, clink._

“Won’t you make a route over the platforms?” Ocelot approached without haste, his spurs chiming. “New recruits long to meet you. There weren’t many this week, but I don’t think I need to remind you how important staff morale is, especially now.”

“I will,” Venom nodded. “But a bit later.”

Venom deliberately ignored Ocelot’s amused sneer as he passed him by and headed to the jeep, from where Kaz had been drilling a hole in Ocelot’s back with cold eyes. Venom didn’t know what had happened between the two of his closest comrades so they were barely talking to each other, and he didn’t want to know. Whatever it was, he was sure that Kaz would tell him when the time comes. For now, Venom could only prevent the growth of latent hostility, which he did, jumping into the jeep and gesturing the driver to start the engine.    

The sky was clear and high, soft hues of purple, red and orange mingling on its extensive canvas like watercolors. As they’d reached the Base Development Platform, the crimson sun touched the ocean, ready to sink in and make room for darkness.

After a brief shower, Venom sat in the jeep and waited for Kaz to return. The silhouette of the driver’s back began to obscure in the dying rays of dim light, the smoke from his cigarette forming an ornate weave in the still air. Venom suppressed the urge to have a smoke too and busied himself with setting development projects on the iDroid. He radioed Pequod, instructing him to get ready to head to Africa.

“Change of schedule. Remember that picturesque valley we crossed two weeks ago?” Venom prompted, and Pequod hummed from the receiver, seemingly recollecting.

“Yes, Boss. Anything’s wrong with it?”

“Vice versa; the Intel Team has reported that it has several unguarded areas. I’ve marked the location for you to construct the route.”

“Roger!” Pequod exclaimed, and Venom could swear he heard rattling on the background. The pilot must’ve dropped some utensils in attempt to salute over the radio.

Kaz had been taking a while, and Venom ended up lighting his electric cigar to take a few long drags. The giant orb above the horizon painted the sky deadly maroon. A faint premonition pinched Venom’s nerves, making him once more reach out for the iDroid to radio Kaz, only that Kaz' transmitter left on an empty seat caught his eye.

But as he darted his look to the hangars direction, he saw Kaz hurrying to the car. His empty sleeve slatted like a lonely sail in the surging wind. A male soldier scurried behind him, carrying one of trademark Mother Base cardboard boxes. Venom squinted, finding it peculiarly familiar, though he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly echoed with familiarity about it.

Kaz climbed into the jeep, grabbing onto Venom’s offered arm and emitting a short grumble. He gestured the soldier to put the box inside: indeed, it was a box different from their usual supply package used for airmail service and in-to-in transportation, pale pink with a small heart logo. A prickle of distant memory pierced Venom’s skull and he winced, not able to counter the forced memento that wasn’t his own.

“You alright?” Kaz leaned closely to his face, clasping Venom’s metallic hand that had instinctively come to cover up his face. Venom nodded, but Kaz didn’t take his eyes off him for a while, observing through the thickness of brewing dusk.

The first stars began to peek out when they’d returned to the Medical Platform. DD greeted them with excited barking from the helicopter, Pequod stuck out next and waved to them. He was holding a large meat bone, to which DD sank his teeth and successfully yanked out from the bewildered pilot.

They’ve settled in the cabin, Pequod shouting departure. Venom took his usual seat and beckoned Kaz to arrange by his side. Kaz hesitated for a moment, before DD nudged his good leg, forcing him to take a few frantic steps. Venom moved slightly and caught him by the elbow, putting him down. They peered at each other silently, face to face in the steadily blinking red light. DD whimpered and lay between them on the floor, radiating warmth against Venom’s shin.

The ride was quiet. Occasional brisk gusts were refreshingly brushing Venom’s face and his damp hair, and he found himself dozing off in comfort of two bodies pressing to his. A familiar song hummed from the cockpit in low volume. Venom cracked open his eye: on his shoulder lay Kaz’s head, features for once undisturbed and breaths calm. It was a rare view, and Venom quietly appreciated it, nuzzling Kaz’s coarse hair that smelled of nicotine and salt.

The deep voice of the singer broke out and made Kaz stir. He huffed through his nose before leaning back and rubbing at his eyes with calloused fingertips under the aviators. Humbly smiling, Venom wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and the corners of Kaz’s mouth quivered.

They listened to the song wordlessly, catching Pequod’s echoing it and shaking his head to the music. It must’ve been his way to stay vigilant, though Venom personally didn't mind a little impromptu concert.

He kept drifting in and out of consciousness, awakened with an occasional crane of the helicopter. Not that he wasn’t used to napping in transit, but pulled out of slumber his mind clicked, lost in random imageries that instantly seeped through his fingers no matter how hard he concentrated to linger on them. There must’ve been something to cling on to, something to remind him the life once lost.

Not instantly Venom realized his tremulous agitation and Kaz’s hand firmly holding his shoulder. He cast a glance on his commander’s disturbed face beaconed by recurrent red flashes.

“Snake?”

“Did I–” Venom started off and his raspy voice weakened. He jarred his head and looked Kaz softly in the eye, although he couldn’t quite see it. “I’m alright.”

Kaz’s brow furrowed incredulously but he let go of Venom’s shoulder.

“It’s nothing to worry about, I promise,” Venom assured. “Relax.”

And Kaz obliged, leaning his back against the seat’s canvas. Although his mouth remained a tight line all the way till they heard Pequod’s drastic _‘Arriving shortly at LZ!’_ Venom knew that it wasn’t necessary for them to speak now. Kaz’s hand lay open in his lap, his knees drawn apart. He chewed on the inside of his lip in the absence of a cigarette he apparently craved. Venom gazed at his far-out expression and gently smiled.

It was long past midnight when the chopper landed in Africa. The air was chill and crisp, sending pleasant goosebumps to Venom’s bare arm. Earthly and floral scents hit his nose as they plunged from the chopper: Venom dropping out Kaz’s box to his cranky _'Be careful!’_ , then going himself and supporting Kaz’s arm, DD following them suit.

They watched Pequod depart into the inky sky besprinkled with stars, helicopter’s rotor making them deaf with its metallic anthem. Soon the chopper became smaller and smaller, until the air stiffened and natural noises took place of mechanical.

Grasshoppers' stridulation and skylarks' riant chirping filled the night. DD ran off to release his energy, going in circles and sniffing grass for probable medical herbs.

“Get me some branches and small logs for a fire,” commanded Kaz and crouched on the sandy ground, his shoe heels drawn wide apart. He propped his elbow to his knee and briefly startled: Venom noted how his bad shoulder moved due to habit of putting both arms on his knees. He nodded to Kaz and walked to a lonely lopsided tree, from where DD already barked in his direction, happy to announce his findings.

Having gathered a fat stack of wood, Venom carried it to the spot where Kaz already rummaged in the box. A piquant smell emanated from it, making Venom's mouth water. Admittedly, he hadn’t eaten anything but a scarce beef jerky since morning.

“Dinner?” he inquired, smirking at Kaz, who fished out matches and old newspapers. With brilliant skill, he scratched the match against the scrape with only five fingers he had, and held it up between his index and thumb, while his pinky, ring and middle fingers curbed the matchbox. The corners of Kaz’s mouth stretched in a content grin and he locked his gaze with Venom's, carefully drawing the fire to the gathered on the ground wood. Venom chuckled, amused and impressed.

“It’s ready, we just need to heat them,” said Kaz, taking something wrapped in grey paper from the box. Venom’s eyebrow cocked.

“Don’t tell me you cooked something while I was waiting for you.”

“No, not then.”

Venom squatted next to Kaz, but noticing how uncomfortably his bad leg was bent and barely supported his weight, he gestured to DD. The all-knowing dog rushed from his spot – it even seemed that DD nodded to him, and in mere seconds he dragged a moderate log good enough to sit on.

Venom took the log offhandedly and placed it a bit behind Kaz, guiding him by the elbow to sit. Kaz followed without hesitance and unwrapped the contents of the package that appeared to be the source of the delicious smell.

“Burgers, huh?” Venom chuckled, ogling the puffy buns. He fixedly watched the delicate beef patty clasped between juicy leaves of lettuce and huge rings of onion, all wholeheartedly covered in cheese and ketchup.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Kaz’s suddenly wistful tone drew Venom’s attention from the food. “It took me a while to come up with a perfect recipe; there had been several failed attempts. But eventually my focus-group acknowledged these best.”

“Didn’t know you were this fond of cooking.” Venom couldn’t help patting Kaz’s back in approval. “Why didn’t you assign me to your focus-group?”

Setting two burgers in the pot, Kaz produced a short sigh. His eyebrows twisted in obvious search for an excuse, and Venom was about to laugh it off when Kaz briskly removed his aviators. His muted eyes peered at Venom with sheer frankness, reflected flames dancing in them.

“I guess I wanted to surprise you,” uttered Kaz. Venom looked down and noticed Kaz’s hand resting on his bionic knuckles. “But I couldn’t present you a half-assed result. You deserve the ace of aces. And I tell you, this burger is something out of this world.”

He smirked proudly and turned to the fire; his fingers curved to pluck a steamy burger and he hissed lightly at the temperature. Venom inhaled the savory aroma and accepted the dish from Kaz with a broad smile.

The moment his teeth sank into the hot buns and tongue touched the seasoned meat, Venom’s whole body shuddered in rapture. The taste was heavenly – not overly salty, just enough spicy with a barely-there touch of sweetness; the texture was ideally balanced between solidness of meat and softness of vegetables and dough. More than satisfied, Venom groaned past the bite in his mouth.

“Enjoying yourself?” inquired Kaz, cracking a smug grin at him. Venom nodded vigorously, and turned at DD bumping his nose against his shin. The dog implored him with his plaintive eye, his tongue stuck out as he stared at the burger in his owner’s bionic hand.

“Mind sharing some of your goddamn swell burgers with our little friend?” Venom suggested after swallowing a mouthful of ambrosial meal.

“ _Goddamn swell_ isn’t quite enough to convince me,” complained Kaz past a mouthful, although his face was blooming of haphazard praise.

“Absolutely delicious,” reckoned Venom.

“Absolutely lame,” retorted Kaz.

“Yummy as a ripe fruit.”

“Going poetic, huh?”

“Perfect as it is.”

Their faces had drawn close enough for Venom to tilt his head and effortlessly lock their greasy lips. He sensed Kaz’s stuttering breath, his warmth brushing off Venom’s mouth as he cupped Kaz’s jaw and let his tongue slip in. Small bristles of Kaz’s stubble tingled his skin. Caught off guard, Kaz froze for a moment, before melting under his touch and responding with fervid, passionate kiss. Venom’s nostrils flared as he felt Kaz guiding him, his hand tugging onto his ponytail to deepen the kiss. His bionic arm wrapped around Kaz’s waist, mapping the tense arch of his spine and circling affectionate rubs across his back. Their mouths firmed keenly, Kaz’s tongue curving and thrusting in ardent vigor against his. Venom’s head had begun to lighten as Kaz broke off and, panting, looked him in the eye. His stare, obscured by the fire-cast shadows, was vehement. Venom trailed his fingers across Kaz’s jaw, watching in raw excitement as Kaz craned his neck and placed a dry kiss upon his knuckles.

DD lurked in between their touching legs, demandingly placing his paws on Venom’s thigh.

“Kaz, you have no choice but to give it to him,” snickered Venom, not letting go of Kaz’s waist and pulling him closer.

“I knew this would happen,” sighed Kaz, defeated. “Good thing I brought a spare one.”

Kaz bent to dig in the box and DD sprung joyfully on his four and barked in delight as he peered at Kaz’s hand, awaiting his prize.

“Bon appetit, boy,” scoffed Kaz, handing another burger to the bouncy dog. DD neatly picked the whole bite from his palm and dropped it to the ground to devour. Kaz rolled his eyes, although the corners of his mouth were lightly curled up.       

The endless vastitude of quiet sky blinked at them with its glimmering inhabitants; not a single cloud obscured the looming magnificence. The stars and constellations shimmered with tranquil radiance, incognizant of earthian calamities: wars, famine, global warming, nuclear deterrence, what to say about inner struggles of an individual mind. They shone, unconcerned, from the distance so tremendous, so incomprehensible by a simple human intellect, performing their duty in outer space.

Observing their grand detachment, Venom felt little and insignificant. His thoughts drifted above his body, and he became aware of its heaviness, the tightness of his muscles, the pressure of his prosthetic, his obstructed visual perception and enforcement of the shrapnel in his skull. But this body was never his own. The realization gripped at his consciousness and knocked the air out of his lungs.

Not once he’d experienced the sudden awareness of lack of identity, and so far managed to choke it off by clinging to the borrowed role – he was the almighty Big Boss, the demon his enemies feared and comrades held themselves ready to die for. But more and more often Venom was finding himself wanting to cling to something else, and there wasn’t anything solid-shaped in him besides the forced personality. That telltale dread, his uncertainty, his sometimes reckless decisions must’ve been the remnants of the origin, and yet Venom could never fully grasp it.

But Kaz’s side pressed to his, so intimately and naturally, the subtle scent of his hair and skin – nondescript but so undoubtedly his – grounded him. Venom shook his head and placed a chaste kiss against Kaz’s temple.

“Andy?”

Sighing, he took Kaz’s hand in his and kneaded it. It was cold.

“What is it?” he muttered, looking at the shadows dancing among the withered grass. He tightened his embrace on Kaz, noting the faltering in his voice.

“It won’t go away,” Kaz quavered. “I still see the flames in my dreams. They’re enormous, swallowing Mother Base – Caribbean or Seychelles – again and again, over and over again. There are explosions, there are MSF soldiers dying, Diamond Dogs dying, _you_ dying on me. Again and again.”

He emitted a shaky exhale and freed his hand from Venom’s idle hold to wipe off sweat from his face.

“In this dream, I’m helpless,” he continued, his tauten voice barely audible. “I’m always pulled out of it suddenly, it’s like a jump from the edge. And these lasting moments of alarm and paralysis – I loathe them the most. You said that it’s all not about the past, and I learned the hard way that clinging to revenge won’t ease the pain, but...”

He fell silent, bleak eyes fixed on the fire. His lips twitched neurotically, and Venom rummaged in his pocket for a stash of Marlboro. He took out one and Kaz silently took the offer, titling closer to Venom as he rolled the wheel of his gas lighter. The smoke emanated from Kaz’s slightly parted lips from where the cigarette hung loosely. The ember irradiated his faded irises, once so blue. Kaz raised his fingers to clasp the smoke and blow the ashes, his face pensive, just like that one summer night in the Caribbean when– Venom halted.

“Kaz,” Venom murmured and leaned closer. “Don’t let the past destroy you. Stop blaming yourself for things left undone, things you can’t change. What’s done is done.”

“And we have to live with the consequences,” Kaz added bitterly. The lines on his face were sharp and hard, making him a decade older.

“Let’s make our own memories,” said Venom. “This present will soon become the past, but let’s make it the past we won’t regret.”

Kaz threw the cold cigarette butt into the fire and turned to Venom. There was so much on his face: breaking out anguish, ennui of a confounded dreamer, but most of all, there was trust. Venom smiled weakly with just the corners of his lips and wrapped his arms around Kaz. His chin rested on Venom’s shoulder and he sighed deeply, with notable relief.

“You’re right, as always,” muttered Kaz against his ear. “Thank you... for everything.”

 

**~***~**

 

The first morning sunrays broke in, permeating the cabin with glory of a new dawn. For the miles around and above were spread the Siamese twins – ocean and sky.

Venom tore his look from the window, removing Kaz’s beret and lazily stroking his golden hair. He’d gotten strands of silver in it, and it wasn’t as silky as a decade ago when the fingers touching it were rough and imperative. But Venom’s fingers relished it softly, deliberate not to wake Kaz up from his sound sleep.

Kaz’s head lay on Venom’s lap, and he fondly watched his friend’s eyes move underneath his heavy eyelids in slow circuition. His breathing was slow and deep, chest rising and fading regularly. It must’ve been a dreamless slumber, for there wasn’t excessive stiffness in his muscles, and his hand rested on his stomach still.

They had been on a perpetual battlefield, yet Venom felt peace at this moment. Certainly, it wasn’t long before he would head to Afghanistan; it might take him not a day or two. But even on operation, on the most trying of missions, he had something to hold onto in the back of his mind, something that kept him grounded during the roughest of days. No matter how far away, he would always have a place to return, and this place was on Mother Base, near his comrades, near Kaz. Kaz who had put all his faith in him, Kaz with whom he shared his life, Kaz who had become his home. Together, they would create a future Big Boss couldn’t have predicted. Their Outer Heaven.

 


End file.
